KIll Tom Brady
This is the text from my brother Chris' voicemail message,
left on 2/1/04, after the New England Patriots defeated
the Carolina Panthers, 32-29. Please note that this tirade
contains about 25 derivatives of the word FUCK.
Sadly, this message sheds little light on the fact that
my brother, a HUGE Miami Dolphins fan, was drinking HEAVILY
all day at a Super Bowl party at a Holiday Inn before he
left this voicemail gem!! GOD FUCKING WILLING! :)
"Dude that fucking game
sucked!! Not even fucking Dan FitzGerald would have
kicked that fucking
ball out of bounds and given it back to the Patriots on
their own 40 yard line and let 'em go fucking 25 yards
the fucking tying field goal!
That is unfucking excusable! John
Kasey should have his fucking...sack cut off! That is goddamn
awful! It just fucking sucked to have them win the fucking
game because the fucking Panthers kicker can't kick a ball
He could not kick a ball.....All he had to do was kick that
fucking ball straight and out of the fucking end-zone and
it would have given them 20 less yards. Instead, he gives
them the ball on the 40 yard line and that cocksucker Brady
drives down the fucking field and wins the fucking game
I hate that cocksucker. If I
was more fucking diabolical and maniacal and more like
Claing, I would try to figure out how I can kill Tom Brady.
And it would involve fucking "Ivanka fucking Trump" who
is now reportedly on Brady's jock. And her fucking
Father was on the Howard Stern show saying
that she is trying to get after Tom Brady. And I would love
nothing more than to watch those two doing dirty, filthy
sexual acts on video.
But I hate that fuck! And I hate
that fucking team! And I would love nothing more than
the next fucking terrorist attack to occur somewhere within
Massachusetts. I don't care...I..I would love to see
fucking city blown up. You heard it here first. Let's fucking
attack Boston, god fucking willing!!!"